My Britta Bee

Playing with Britta is like performing a play without a script, and yet you're expected to know your part. Britta was apparently given the script and knows how it's all supposed to work, but I just can't seem to keep up.

Example 1:

Britta: "Mom, look the pig (imaginary mind you and completely invisible)is stealing the pie! She climbed on the table and jumped up to the counter. She's running through the market!!"

Mom: "Oh,no! Someone should stop her!"

Britta: "There, I fought her and took the pie and put it on the roof."

Mom: "Well, what if she gets a ladder and takes it again?"

Britta: (looking at me as if her suspicions that mom doesn't know anything have just been confirmed) "Pigs can't climb ladders."

Example 2: (Britta is pretending to be a dog)

"Look mom, the dog is walking to the door. Look, mom the dog is going out the door. Look mom, the dog is looking around. Look mom the dog sees a bird. Look mom, the dog is barking at the bird. Look mom, the dog is chasing the bird."

Mom: "I see doggy. You went out the door and chased the bird."

Britta: (sighing to herself) No, mom, I saw the door, then I went outside, then I looked around, and THEN I saw the bird. I'll show you again."

Mom: thinking to herself that she'd better go get a notebook, pen, and advil.

Example 3:

Britta: "I have free water for sale. Do you want some?"

Mom: "FREE water for SALE?"

Britta: "Yeah, do you want some?"

Mom: "Sure I'll take a cup."

Britta: "Kay, that'll be 4 dollars."

Mom: "But I thought is was free."

Britta: "It is."

Mom:....