At Capacity: Britta Putting Two and Two Together

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Britta Putting Two and Two Together

Britta is my call them as she sees them kid. Here are a couple of funny examples of her putting two and two together and, well, calling it as she saw it:

(Britta saying family prayer) "...and please bless mommy that she'll get enough sleep tonight so that she won't be grumpy in the morning..."

(Britta stuck her finger into Weston's mouth) "Ouch! Mom, he bites really hard! You better switch him to bottles quick!"

3 comments:

katie said...: That's awesome. She is totally your daughter, Steph!; April 13, 2009 at 9:26 AM
Melanie said...: Can your kids just be on a continual live streaming podcast that broadcasts into my home??!?! I love it, and the new quotes on the side are just too good. Can't wait to see you all soon!; April 15, 2009 at 4:05 PM
Grammy Taylor said...: I agree with Melanie. No wonder Britta prays for you to get good sleep. You've got 4 tigers there and a daddy who is gone from home all day loooong. Hang in there!; April 23, 2009 at 5:26 PM

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Unfiltered Innocence

AVERY: "I pinky swear I'll tell the truth when I'm lying."

WESTON: "Oh, gosh!" (finding the bedroom door locked and his escape foiled)

EDEN: "I would date Freddi but not Shaggy."

(Stephanie and Britta at the grocery store)

BRITTA: "Chicken tenders!? Are chicken tenders made from..." (points towards crotch)

STEPHANIE: "What?! No! Why would you think that?"

BRITTA: "You know on Kung Fu Panda when he gets hit in the crotch and says 'Oh!... right in the tenders.'?"

BRITTA: “When I am 18, you will already be a grandpa.”

BEN: (Pausing before answering) “What makes you say that?”

BRITTA: “Because I’ll be big and you’ll be old.” (Pausing. Then with a smile) “But you’ll still be my dad!”

AVERY: “Can I have some Minnesota?”

BEN: (???)

AVERY: “Da-ad! Can I have some Minnesota?”

BEN: “What’s ‘Minnesota’?”

AVERY: (Goes to the refrigerator and points to the root beer).

( Britta and Avery were fighting, again)

Me: Britta, who does kindness begin with?

Britta: Me

Me: Avery, who does kindness begin with?

Avery: Britta

(during a recent hiking trip we took with some friends)

Me: "Come on, Avery, it's time to get hiking."

Avery: "I can't go hiking. I have to fix my hair!"

AVERY: "Mom, you be the Kung Fu mom, okay?"

STEPHANIE: "Sure" (knowing I should first check the job description)

EDEN: "No school tomorrow! I'm going to sleep in till 7! Or maybe even 7:30!"

STEPHANIE: (No comment; too busy reminiscing about the days when 7 or even 7:30 was considered early.)

STEPHANIE: (talking out loud to Ben) "Can you think of anything else we need at the store?"

AVERY: "I'm gonna need some more snack packs."

BRITTA: "Mom, what's 10 plus 10?"

STEPHANIE: "20"

BRITTA: "Okay, good. I just wanted to make sure your brain was working."

STEPHANIE: ???

(background: Avery was having a hard time being reverent at church)

STEPHANIE: "Avery, do you want me to tell you a story about Jesus?"

AVERY: "No. Jack and the Bean Stalk."

Ben: "I married the woman of my dreams."

Britta: "Who is that?"

Britta: (while saying family prayer) "Please bless Weston and his chub that he'll grow to be a big man."

Avery: "Weston is a crazy guy!"

Britta: "Mom, you're really smart 'cause you know what 100 plus 100 plus 100 plus 100 is...wait, do you know what it is?"

Mom: "Avery, what do you want for dinner?"

Avery: "Cookies. Brownies. Beef. Peas. Broccoli."

(a girl with her priorities straight)

Mom: '"Kay, girls, push pause on the movie and lets say prayer(dinner)."

Eden: "Can't we just have a prayer in our hearts?"

JULIA (sister-in-law to be): "Britta, are you eating sprinkles?"

BRITTA: "No, I'm decorating my mouth."

-Britta and Julia decorating cakes together

AVERY: "Britta, try some butter. It's delicious!"

-overheard conversation at the refrigerator

AVERY: "Rock out the stage!"

BRITTA: "Ah, Mom. I'm so hungry for turkey! I can't take it anymore!"

-Hoping that Christmas dinner would soon be served

AVERY: (with blanket over her head) "I'm a Hannah Montanna ghost. Ooooooooo!"

(Ben and Britta playing with play money)

BRITTA: "Dad! Look at all of this money that the people at church gave us!"

BEN: "What are we going to do with it?"

BRITTA: "We can buy lots of things! We are RICH!"

BEN: "Don't you think we should give it back? Maybe they want us to use it to help others? We could build an orphanage so kids without parents would have food and a place to live. What do you think would make you feel good inside?"

BRITTA: (grabs her head and groans)

BEN: "What's wrong."

BRITTA: "I REALLY want to give the money back. But I REALLY want to keep it. Oh! It's just too hard!... I think I'm going to keep the money."

DAD: "Avery, how about sleeping in your own bed the whole night tonight?"

AVERY: "No. It's not possible."

MOM: "Avery, please put your plate and cup in the sink."

AVERY: "No, I'm Hannah Montanna."

BRITTA: "But how did you GET pregnant?"

-Britta being too curious for her own good and mine

AVERY: "And it came to pass that Lehi went to Texas."

-Avery "reading" scriptures

(At the park after a rainstorm)

BEN (to Avery): "Don't sit down in your skirt or it will get muddy."

BRITTA: "I doesn't matter Dad. The dirty kids are the happy kids."

-Britta recalls one of Stephanie's sayings to share at an appropriate moment.

EDEN: "Eat ya later!"

-Eden waving goodbye to a turkey at the petting zoo.

BRITTA:"Let's go to Human Land and see what those human-y humes are up to."

-Britta's mermaid barbie proposes an adventure.

BRITTA:"Where are we?"

BEN: "Vienna."

BRITTA:"Can we understand what they say here?"

-driving through the neighboring town of Vienna, Virginia

BRITTA:"Why do I have to be here? I already know everything! Thomas Monson is real; blah, blah, blah; see, I know it all!"

-Britta complaining about having to be at church

BRITTA: "I can't show my face in that!"

-in reference to a Sunday dress she's apparently had enough of.

BEN: "What do you want to have the family home evening lesson be about?"

BRITTA: "The Garden of Egypt."

BEN: "Do you mean the Garden of Eden?"

BRITTA: "No! Egypt!"

BEN: "What's that?"

BRITTA: "It's just a place I made up."

EDEN: "I've been doomed to chores!!"

-Eden complaining about being asked to unload kid dishes from the dishwasher

BEN: "What are you eating?"

AVERY: "Durdles"

BEN: "Turtles???"

AVERY: "NO! DUE-duls"

BEN: "Doodles?"

AVERY: "DUE-duls!"

BEN: "Oh! Noodles!"

-Ben trying to figure out what crunchy food Avery was eating. Turned out to be uncooked spagetti.

AVERY: "I'm beepy."

-Translation: "I'm sleepy."

BEN: "I don't want you to eat too many of those."

BRITTA: "Cause I'll go number three?"

BEN: "Number three? What's number three?"

BRITTA: "Diarrhea."

-Ben cautioning Britta to go easy on the blueberries

STEPH: "Avery, do you have poopers in your diaper?"

AVERY: "No..... Daddy, poopers!"

-Avery trying to pass the blame

BRITTA:"Tuna is made from mermaids, right?"

-Britta eyeing the Chicken of the Sea tuna can

BRITTA: "Dad, I'm hungry. Can I have some Chippychongos?"

-Britta asking for chimichangas for lunch

BRITTA:"Oi dad! Oi!"

-Britta telling me "hello" in Portuguese

Dear Chocolate.

Give me you.

Love Eden Taylor

-Note from Eden to "Chocolate"

BRITTA: "Dad, I love you just the way you are!"

-Britta repeating something Stephanie said to her