The Hawaii Chair (The Winner!!) - First of all, I love the advertisement on the website showing all the women riding this thing with their hands in the air. It's like a geriatric roller coaster.Woman #1: "Whoo-OO!!!! What a ride! I can't even feel my hip replacment!"
Woman #2: "I know! I haven't had this much excitement since I doubled my fiber intake!"
But seriously, what the heck??? I don't understand how having your rear shoved around while you're sitting on it is supposed to help you burn calories. Isn't the point of working out to burn calories? Don't you have to exhert effort to burn calories? The most this thing gets used is when the grandkids come over and want a ride.
The Gazelle - My wife and I were house-sitting for some friends one summer and we found a Gazelle in their upstairs media room. Since no one was around I gave it a try. The feeling of having your legs swinging forward and back beneath me felt a little silly. I only gave the thing a couple of minutes, not really long enough to even find out if you get a good workout. I felt too goofy to continue. Another thing about the Gazelle I don’t get: what is it about Tony Little striding in spandex and a pony tail that is supposed to inspire a good workout? Tony Little is to fitness what Richard Simmons is to dieting.
We were first introduced to the Abtronic at Brian’s apartment after a swimming party. (Come to think of it, Brian’s apartment had several bizarre pieces of workout equipment). He put the Abtronic on and dropped on the couch to “work out”. After a couple of minutes everyone was curious and wanted a turn. One of our friends suggested his girlfriend put it on her rear to tighten that up. After getting slapped, he got the brilliant idea to place the electrodes directly on his forehead. Ha ha ha! I’ll never forget his expression of agony as the electric pulses started. He had a headache for the next 20 minutes. Not to be outdone I had the equally stupid idea to wrap the thing around my neck. The funny faces my spasming neck muscles created got the laughs I was after, but MAN! That thing really hurt! My neck and jaw muscles were sore for the rest of the day.
“Spine Snapper” – Again, not its real name, the Spine Snapper was another abs workout machine found in Brian’s apartment. It is a chair without a back. Instead, a single rod of flexible material is attached to the back of the seat of the chair and connected to a horseshoe shaped piece of metal with hand grips on the end. You grab the grips on either side, and then you supposedly rock side to side and back and forth to work your abs. Instead, you were more likely to get carried away and completely fold your back in half. The thing must have been the origin of several lawsuits.
Today I was given a tour of the Pentagon by our client. He had worked in the Pentagon for several years before his office was transferred to its current location in Crystal City. We got to see copies of the Congressional Medal of Honor on display as well as the names of all who have received it. It was amazing to learn that the Pentagon’s facilities include a Post Office, a DMV, a Bank of America, a Jeweler, a dry cleaner, a hair salon, several food establishes (including a McDonald’s of course), and a hospital. On the second floor near the old cafeteria was a display of painted portraits of those who have lost their lives in this war on terror. Throughout the corridors and hallways were flags, portraits, and displays telling stories of the history of the nation’s military involvements. But the most moving part of the tour was when we visited the second floor of the E ring between corridors 4 and 5.
On the wall is a map showing the path that American Airlines flight 77 tore through the building on September 11, 2001. The map shows the offices that were there, each desk, each chair, and the names of those that sat at those desks. Each name was written on a slip of paper of differing colors representing whether the person was killed, injured, unharmed, away from their desk, or not at work that day. It was a sobering moment, and I imagined what it must have been like to witness the tragedy unfold.
It was suggested to my by a friend that one of my New Year’s resolutions should be to blog more regularly. I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of commitment. Instead I have resolved the following:
I’ve often heard that the best goals stretch you, are attainable, and can be measured. All of these will take more than a couple of weeks to complete and will take some effort, but I’m not exactly sure how to measure all of them. What kind of metric do you use to measure the level of kindness you are showing others? When do you know you aren’t taking yourself so seriously?
I think when a change involves your personality or attitude the progress is measured by how much you like your new self and whether you are actually creating a new you. And perhaps the best measurement is if other people notice a change. For example, if my wife notices that I’m less uptight than I used to be, I’ve succeeded. If others want to be around me more or are friendlier maybe I’ve succeeded in being kinder and saying thank you more often.
I’m actually excited about my resolutions this year. But I’m still dreading this year somewhat.
This year I’m turning 30 in June. I didn’t think it would bother me. My hair is already falling out, I have three children, I’m already softer than I was a year ago. What else can happen to make me feel older? However, somehow 30 still seems like a threshold to something threatening. I think turning 30 is all about perceptions. I have perceptions that people over 30 are supposed to settle down. They should have mortgages and join the PTA. They don’t have as many adventures, are more responsible in their careers and even in their casual associations. Basically, unstructured time is over! Now I know these thoughts aren’t realistic and that these changes aren’t abruptly instituted when you turn 30, but it still seems scary.
But when I think about the other seemingly scary thresholds in life, 30 doesn’t seem so bad. Graduating high school and going to college was one of the first big ones. I remember thinking that somehow I was going to have to take care of myself if I got sick, feed myself, earn my own keep, etc. I would have to set my own rules and get myself out of sticky situations. But it was equally exciting. So was going on a mission out of the country for two years. So was getting married. Actually getting married didn’t seem so scary to me. Sure I committed the rest of my life to one person, but Stephanie is perfect for me. She’s the Yin for my Yang. On the other hand, having kids was a bit scary at first. Children were something we both wanted right away (and we got it right away too). Figuring out how to raise a child and be a parent was the daunting part. But like anything you’ve never tried before you’re rarely very good when you first start. Now that we’ve had some “practice” things don’t seem so daunting (true, no teenagers yet). It feels like determining how well my children turn out will be kind of like my New Year’s resolutions – it’s hard to measure success on a day-to-day basis, but you can tell if you’re doing a good job with your kids if people comment on how nice they are, and if you enjoy being around them.
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