Festivus for the Rest of Us

This year our office decided that for our holiday party we would celebrate Festivus. For those who don’t know about Festivus, you need to watch this episode of Seinfeld. It began when one of my coworker team leads brought in a 6 foot tall 4 inch diameter aluminum pole mounted in a cardboard box. By the end of the day it was decided that our holiday celebration would begin with a potluck lunch where we brought dishes representing our respective heritages or cultures. Then we would have the airing of grievances over lunch (more on this later). After the grievances, feats of strength and a gift exchange. We all did our research on Festivus which means we recorded and watched the Seinfeld episode. The same coworker team lead offered to collect grievances to be shared anonymously for those who couldn’t be there or who didn’t have the moxy to air them personally.

The date was set for Monday, December 17th. With a couple of weeks’ notice everyone had time to think over what to bring and what to air. My mom’s side is half Swiss-Italian and half Finnish/Swedish. I decided to bring in some Northern Italian fare and some Swedish Fish. I was out of town the week before our office party so I planned on having everything ready by Saturday mid-day. Events conspired against me with a red-eye flight that got me home at 6:30 am on Saturday, my cousin visiting from Philadelphia and my firm’s holiday party that night. I ran out of time.

Monday morning I grabbed some Swedish fish from the drug store on my way in. One of my coworkers is Czech and of course made Czech cookies from scratch. She saw my Swedish fish and immediately ridiculed me for bringing them in, noting specifically that they were manufactured in Canada! Who cares??? By about 9:30 am it was apparent that 70% of the office had brought dessert. (Why does everyone bring dessert to a potluck? Is it because you usually don’t have to reheat it? Are they inherently easier to transport? Are desserts cheaper to make/buy? ) Myself and two other employees decided to make a last minute run to the grocery store for some meal items. I found some Swedish Meatballs at the deli along with some pasta and spinach in a garlic sauce. Whatever. If my coworker had anything more to say she was going to take a meatball to the skull. It was close enough for me.

The potluck came off pretty well. Fortunately someone had been thinking the same thing and came back with three buckets of fried chicken. The lead at our client began the airing of grievances. This wasn’t an unusual habit for him so it didn’t take him more than a moment to really get into it. Ten minutes later we were actually starting to feel reprimanded. At that point he said it was someone else’s turn and proceeded to point his way around the room demanding we state our grievances. Everyone laughed nervously and some tossed out a grievance or two. I kept mine general and not targeted towards anyone specifically and definitely not related to the office. For instance, I hate it when I write a check and the recipient doesn’t cash it for 3-4 months. Really. Why would you wait that long? If you lost it, tell me. I’ll write you a new one. Back to the story:

About two thirds of the way around the room, the client got to one of his own employees who is known in the office for being a target. There isn’t a better word to describe him. In order for the story to flow we’ll call this guy Dan. Dan is a nice guy who doesn’t like confrontation and is a bit oversensitive. He is often the object of jokes in the office. He once asked a meeting be rescheduled to accommodate his lunchtime yoga class. People love to tell that story. Dan wanted business cards like some of the other employees so the client lead made him some spoof ones with extra large print and a ridiculous title. Dan took it poorly. A couple of months ago the client personnel were accompanying some of my coworkers on a visit to one of the client’s other locations. Dan wanted to come to. The client lead told him to get his supervisor’s permission and he could go. Dan acted like his mother said that after he cleaned his room he could go play baseball with his friends. There is a lot more.

So the client lead called on Dan. Dan spoke up and said his grievance was Festivus. Dan didn’t like Festivus. He likes Christmas with the attendant peace on earth and goodwill toward men. Dan didn’t like the airing of grievances. He went on for another moment at which point the client lead broke saying, “Oh, shut up Dan! Who’s next?” The room erupted in laughter and Dan’s complaints and protests were quickly passed over.

The feats of strength never happened for some reason. Maybe we were all too full from lunch.

The group generally agreed that Festivus was a success. It was a fun break with tradition, and it inspired a lot of creativity. The potluck came off okay in the end. A team member of mine may Jambalaya! The gift exchange got a lot of laughs. I got an alarm clock shaped like an egg that wobbles around the desk when the alarm goes off. The grievances were sufficiently aired and were left at the table. Or so we thought.

On Wednesday we all received an email from our client lead stating that he had heard indirectly from someone that people were offended/confused/hurt/upset by our Festivus celebration. He welcomed discussion and apologized if anyone was left feeling offended/confused/hurt/upset. He also stated that we would not be celebrating Festivus in the future. I’m sure it was Dan.

The art of Procrastination

Ughhh... I am not a blogger. Why am I not a blogger? Because I am a procrastinator that doesn't like writing. I'd much rather avoid something I know I should do by filling my time with other less-important tasks. If I knew why I did that I could probably get myself to quit though even that might not help.

The ironic part about this entry is that I'm blogging as a result of procratinating finishing a work assignment that is overdue! But it seems so much easier to finally create an entry here than to get back into my work assignment. I know, it doesn't make sense. I have to finish this work assignment tonight, and putting if off only means I'll be up late getting it done. Yet, that knowledge isn't compelling me to re-order my tasks.

If I try to put my finger on the cause of my procrastination I would hazard a guess that I do it because I want to put off the distasteful task as long as possible and then condense it into as little time as possible. In a sense sqeezing the task into the space between a rock and a hard place so it's just one giant horse pill rather than a whole bottle of little ones. I know, still not making sense.

Memory Lane, Higley, AZ

While in Scottsdale, AZ for training for work I had a night free. Since I lived in what used to be Higley, AZ for 17 years, and since it's been 6 years since I've last been through I decided to make a visit.

The new freeway takes you straight to the entrance of my old neighborhood, but regardless I got lost immediately. You wouldn't recognize the place! What used to be corn, cotton, or alfalfa fields is now filled with strip malls, fast food restaraunts, and WalMart and Costco.

Once I found my way to our old street the oddest sensation came over me. Suddenly I was home. I felt as if I had just re-entered my life after having taken a 9 year break. Rumplestiltskin-esque. My neighborhood changed only in the small details and a few additional homes. It was familiar and comfortable all at once.

It was hard to resist the urge to pull into the old driveway and go in the front door of our old home. I was sure that if I opened the front door I would find the rest of my family there enjoying the after-dinner conversation and activities. (I'm sure the new owners wouldn't have appreciated the intrusion).

Instead I drove two doors down to our neighbor's home. It was awesome to see everyone. They were expecting me, and seeing everyone for the first time in six years was amazing! Everyone had changed in some ways, but then they were all still the same. The rest of the evening was full of conversations running into and over one another as we re-discovered our friendships. The term "reunion" doesn't quite cover the event. "Homecoming" is a little closer, but it still leaves me unsatisfied. Is there a word in the english language that captures the feeling of these moments?

In the end it was hard to leave. I wanted to preserve the moment and to return things to the familiar pattern of what life in Higley had been like. For the first time in six years I thought seriously about moving back to AZ. Again I thought about just walking two doors down to head to bed, but the rental car out front brought reality quickly back into focus.

Driving back to the hotel was a blur (maybe in part because it was almost 1 am). Returning to reality wasn't unpleasant, but it took the entire drive to fully extricate myself from the delusions I had entertained. I know I'll be coming back though the timing is unsure at the moment.

It seems as though places absorb and store up emotions that we experience there. When we return they begin to release those emotions back to us. The road I lived on for 17 years had stored up all of the youthful energy, hope, restlessness, love, and peace I had experienced. When I returned last night, the lane was expecting me.

Craigslist = scam magnet

I am learning that www.craigslist.org is a magnet for scam artists. Craigslist is very aware of what is going on, and since it is a public forum it invites its posters to report fraud to the FTC. Here is what Craigslist says about the scams its posters find: www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html

Are you serious?... Another scam?

If there's one thing you scammers need it is to get organized. Just two days after "Kelly Williams" contacted me, I got a very similar email from "Peter Thomas". Here are some suggestions to help make your proposal more believable:

1. Coordinate who you're mailing to so it's not so obvious you're not legit.
2. It's Friday, so my week hasn't 'started off' like you suggest it has.
3. Get someone to proof read your English and grammar - for an individual who supposedly travels and sells internationally, your English is pretty crummy.
4. Avoid cutting and pasting sentences from one scam email to another - it's too easy to trace them through Google.
5. Don't give a "yahoo" or "hotmail" domain email as your 'work' email; it's not believable.

But rather than try and perfect your scam, why not get a real job and stop being a parasite? You might actually CONTRIBUTE to society instead of dragging it down. More importantly, everything you do in this life you will have to answer for after you die. Think about that long and hard before you try to scam the next person.

I've included the most recent scam email below so it will be documented on the web and to educate others. Hopefully the scammers will get frustrated when there are no more naive targets for them to go after.

(I received this email on Friday, March 30, 2007. The scams were sent to me because of a posting I made on Craigslist.)

peter thomas (pet_t7@yahoo.com)
Reply-To: pet_tt7@yahoo.com
To:
Subject: Job and accomodation Offer!!(Northern Virginia)

Hi. How has your week started off? My name is Peter thomas. I am in my early age of 50s and I am an European . I come to the states often mostly for business purposes because I deal mostly in jewelry. I supply watches, bracelets, wedding rings and jewelry to stores in the states and Europe . It's my family business cos we are from Switzerland. I bought a house last year in the united states (Northern Virginia) because i love it there .It is with a loving neighborhood. Unfortunately since my father passed away last year, I've been having to go and take care of the family business back in Geneva Switzerland and i realized that it's turning out to be very difficult to supply goods to my clients again in the United states while am away and it will definitely cost me a lot to come over to receive payments cos they usually pay mostly in checks and money orders . running the business from here is with it's own difficulties when it comes to the aspect of payment. It's been like this for a long while now but it doesn'tfavor my business cuz it takes longer time to have all these foreign American checks or Money Orders cashed from here unlike in the States. You can imagine having to wait for another 30-40 days to clear payments received from our American customers. I'm presently working on setting up a branch in the States but for now I'm hoping on meeting responsible Americans that is willing to work with me as one of our American representative that helps receive payments from our customers and clients in the States on my behalf. Every of my representatives works from home without affecting his/her present job if they have any at hand. So what i intend doing is that i am looking for some one to stay at my house free of charge. I don't want to sell the house cos i just bought it and i will have all the rest papers by October but i have all the keys now. I am simply looking for someone that is honest and trustworthy and clean for two reasons 1. to maintain the house when i am away and 2.To help me receive payments from my clients within the USA on my behalf. You don't have to pay me a dime for the accommodation. its just for the purpose of keeping my business going on in the United States.and if you want to keep this assignment as a job let me know so i can allocate 10% on each payment that you receive if at all you don't like to live in the house or if you are far from the house.. The house is a great one with clean bathrooms, walk in closet, a gym , all rooms and living room furnished with electronics . If you want i can email you more pictures and if you are interested i will send the keys to you via courier so you can go and see the house. It is a very lovely house and there is no way you wouldn't like it.If you are interested in handling my business in the state and keeping the house neat, please send me your full name and address with your phone number..I am back in Geneva Switzerland. Let your response go to my business email: pet_t7@yahoo.com

Thanks,
Peter thomas

TRA Holdings scam!!

Today I almost got scammed. I posted to Craigslist that I was looking for a 3 bed, 2 bath in the DC area. I got an email a couple hours later from "Karen Williams" offering me a deal that sounded too good to be true. Here is what I received:


kelly williams (http://by122w.bay122.mail.live.com/mail/ApplicationMain_11.09.0000.0127.aspx?culture=en-US&hash=2972200423#)
To: AT@msn.com
Subject: I HAVE A LOVELY PLACE FOR YOU

Hello, My name is kelly williams I am 27 years old and i am an Australian hard working single lady.I come to the states once in a while mostly for business purposes cos i deal mostly in artwork since I was a small child.That gives me about few years of experience.I majored in art in high school and took a few college art courses.Most of my work is done in either pencil or airbrush mixed with color pencils.I have recently added designing and creating artwork on the computer.I have been selling my art for the last 3 years and have had my work featured on trading cards,prints and in magazines.I have sold in galleries and to private collectors from all around the world.I bought a house last year in USA here in washington,DC in Alexandria,VA cos i love it there .It is peaceful and with a oving neighbourhood.Unfortunately my father is very sick and i have to go back home to take care of him cux am the only child he has and i realised that it will be very difficult to supply artworks to my clients again in the United states while am away and it will definitely cost me a lot to come over if i want to receive payments cos they pay mostly in checks and money orders.So to run the business from there it will be difficult and will be impossible especially the aspect of payment and i dont also want to lose my clients or customers there .So what i intend doing is that i am looking for some one to stay at my house free of charge without paying a dimme.I dont want to sell or lease the house cos i just bought it and i will have all the rest papers Very soon but i have ALL the keys to the house with me now.I am simply looking for someone that is honest and trustworthy and clean for two reasons:
1.To maintain the house when i am away and
2.To help me receive payments from my clients within the USA on my behalf in your own name and have it cashed cux they pay mostly checks and money orders and have the funds wired to me here inQueensberry North Melbourne thru money gram transfer/western union transfer.You dont have to pay me a dimme for the accommodation okay? its just for the purpose of keeping my business going on in the United state.and if you wanna keep this assignment as a job you shall be entitled to 10% of each payment you receive on my behalf or a fixed salary of $3000 a month if that is what you prefer and this shall be a continuous process let me know and if atall you dont wanna live in the house or if you are far from the house its okay i could still afford to pay for your rent anywhere you want it if only you will help me with the above task,well my house is a great one with clean bathrooms,walk in closet,A gym ,All rooms and living room furnished with electronics .I will send the keys to you via courier as soon as i can gain trust in you with the first payment that you received and send to my manager,So that you can go and see the house. It is a very lovely house and there is no way you wont like it.If you are interested in handling my business in the state and keeping the house neat,i will want you to get back to me pretty soon okay
Regards
Kelly Williams


I replied back asking for more information about the house, not fully realizing at this point that the email was a scam. This is what I got in return:


kelly williams (http://by122w.bay122.mail.live.com/mail/ApplicationMain_11.09.0000.0127.aspx?culture=en-US&hash=2972200423#)
To: (my email address)
Subject: GET BACK TO ME FAST

Hello,am happy you are interested in handling my business in the state and keeping the house neat okay.I will like you to tell me a little more about yourself,the kind of job you do and where you precently leave in okay.you will need to fill a form which is below and get it sent back to me asap cux i will have to forward this to my lawyer cux its a legal buisness am oppreating okay.The name of my company is TRA HOLDING if you care to know okay and my house is located a nice area okay if you really want to stay in there,that is all i could tell you about the discription now until i can gain trust in you with the first payment then we will continue from there.i would have love to attached pictures of the house to this but i dont really have any picture for now okay and i must tell you handling this for me will not take much of your time doing this for me cux its just like a part-time job okay and all you have to do is to be honest with me and take it as a part-time job offer cux you will have 10% of the total payment sent to you for yourself or if you preffer to collect $3000 every month its okay by me if am less busy i will call you but for now i need to vist the hospital everyday cux my dad really needs me around so pls fill the form below:Please, fill out the form accurately with correct information cux it will be legally keept by my lawyer for future reffrences okay

APPLICATION FORM
Refrence No:- LSLCA/2031/ 8161/07
Batch No:- R4/A313/2-60

First Name:.............................................
Middle Name:............................................
Last Name:.............................................
AddrressLine 1:.................................................................................................
AddressLine2:..........................................
City....................................................State.....................................Zip...........
Home Phone..............................................
Cell Phone..............................................
Gender.............
Marital Status.......................
Age.....................................................
Nation Of Origin........................................
Drivers Lincence #:.............................optional
State...................Expiration Date..................

ATTESTATION
I ___________________________________hereby accept the job as a representative of the above named person here in the United States,to receive payments on behalf of the above person named Kelly Williams.and all Payment received by me shall be processed,make deduction of 10% as agreed and forward the balance payment via to any of the managers name that will be given to me later.I shall also inform my employee a week ahead,if eventually l want to discontinue this job, so as to terminate all payments coming my way to avoid conflict.Signed by me__________________

Thanks
Kelly williams


By now things were really getting fishy. I did some searching on the web and found a very similar scam: http://jobscams.blogspot.com/2007_02_25_archive.html (search for TRA holdings).

Everyone beware! Apparently they're out searching for victims rather than mass emailing everyone!

Creepy Locker Room Guy strikes again

Monday and Wednesdays I have my weights class. On Friday I go during my lunch time as well. After my class I ran into Creepy Locker Room Guy (CRLG). He was listening to his cell phone as I was changing out. I noticed him walking by the shower area and then coming back after I was out and starting to get dressed. What is this guys problem?! And what should I do?

I figure I have three options:
(1) confront the guy
(2) avoid the guy
(3) forget about it and stop worrying

I am thinking about trying #3 first. There's nothing he could do to hurt me, etc. (he's not a big guy), and I really don't feel like confronting him. I don't think I should feel like I have to hide from him either. This is his problem, not mine.

Creepy Locker Room Guy

For a couple of weeks now, I've noticed a guy in the locker room doing a lot of 'peeking' and walking aimlessly around the locker room. I've seen him peering around the ends of the lockers and circling back around after leaving the locker room. At first I just passed it off as someone looking the wrong direction or being in the wrong place at the wrong time. But then I started seeing him regularly.

One day I was coming back from the weight room and he was leaving the locker room with his bag. Two second later I see him coming back into the locker room. Then he proceeds to walk past me 10 times in the next ten minutes! At this point I'm positive that I'm not imagining things.

Things only get worse when a few days later I passed him in my office building. Now I find out that he works in one of the offices here. I've continued to see him in the locker room and now I see him around work every once in a while. I've contemplated confronting him and saying something to the effect of "You have a problem and you need to talk to someone about it". Everytime I get the chance though I chicken out. I keep seeing him at unexpected times and it catches me off guard.

This morning my wife drove me to work since I missed the bus. As I was getting out of the car I noticed him getting out of his car in the parking lot. I gave my girls hugs and kisses and grabbed my bag. As I shut the car door and headed to the building, creepy guy got to the building door, opens it, and turns and stares at me for a second. AUGH!!! I just wish this guy would go away. I suppose I only have 6 1/2 weeks until I graduate and then I probably won't ever see him again.

To live here or not to live here...

No one moves out of the three-bedroom units at this apartment complex. For the past three months, I have been waiting for a vacancy to happen, but no luck. Nothing. Only the one and two bedroom places seem to turn over.

It's not that this complex is the ONLY place for us to live, but it is the only place that works for our budget, for my commute, and the size of space that we need. Having lived in an 825 square foot, two bedroom apartment in a four-plex with NO ammenities and only a 15 by 50 patch of lawn, I am looking for something more. This place has everything at a great price (mostly because it has income qualification restrictions for its tax credit program). I check the website at least three times a day (most of the time more like 6) to catch a three bedroom unit as soon as it comes open. Unfortunately, there hasn't been anything. Everyone in the apartment offices says they usually come available every month or two, but I'm starting to think that is an exageration. So, the question is, do I continue to hold out for an apartment there, or do I move on? Our second and third choices would probably necessitate a part-time job for Steph. And how long should we wait?

With me going to DC before the girls, I am hoping that eventually time will be on my side and a place will open up sometime before JULY! In the meantime, I'll try not to run while all my eggs are in one basket.

203

I've been in this weights class for 6 months now and I actually have a chest now. For the first time in my life I feel kind of athletic. Not the coordinated, team-sports, competition type athletic, but physically fit, healthy, motivated to stay that way kind of athletic.

A big part of getting there has been changing the way I eat. I don't have the cravings for snacks like I used too and eating a doughnut makes me feel queasy now. The working out and eating right has gotten me down to 203 as well! Not that I'm trying to loose weight necessarily, but the excess weight is dissappearing while I'm building muscle which has helped increase my metabolism. I sleep much better, feel lighter on my feet, and feel better about myself in general.

I think most people have a tendency to think of weight lifting as a vanity activity and that weight rooms are dominated by meat heads. While some of this is true, weight training is excellent exercise because it (1) strengthens muscles you use for everyday tasks, (2) increases your metabolism (muscle burns more calories at rest than other tissues) which means more calories burned, and (3) helps protect you against injuries from over-strained muscles.

47 days

There are only 47 days left until I graduate. April 27th at 8 am I will be walking and receiving my graduate degree!! The moment is already so close that it's hard to focus on my school work. As long as I pass all my classes, I'm not too concerned what happens with this final semester.

I decided to pay the $35 cap and gown rental fee -- hey, you only get once chance to graduate from college for the first time (and hopefully the last). This is it for me: no more college!


I've been counting down the weeks and days ever since last October. I actually have an automatically updating spreadsheet that counts it down for me; I guess I've had too many "free" moments at work lately. I gave my 12 weeks notice at work back in January. My coworkers think I've become "trunky". "Hey, if you're going to find a replacement that will do as good a job as I did, you're going to need 12 weeks!" At least my boss thought it was funny.

The Monday after graduation Stephanie and the girls are flying to Texas. They'll be staying with her parents in Keller while I get the rest of the house packed up. I'm driving our car out to DC on my own and will meet the moving van when it gets there. Hopefully I'll be unpacking into our new apartment, but it might be a storage shed. We've been waiting on a three bedroom unit to open up at a really great complex, but everything in DC stays rented or fills up quick. Until we can get something that will work, Steph will stay with her family in TX and I'll stay with some friends in DC.


I can't wait to get to DC! I am so excited to get on with life and start full-time work. It'll be nice also to leave behind the 825 square foot apartment for something a little bigger. It'll also be nice to feel somewhat "settled" in a place knowing that we'll be there long term. We plan on getting out once a month at least to go see things in DC. With so much to see and do that's free, we've easily got a couple years worth of family activities lined up.


When I get to DC, I'll only have a few days to get set up before I start work. KPMG has an office downtown on 20th and M streets in NW. After a day or two in the office, I'll be on my first client. While I'm excited to find out who that will be, I am also excited about some of my long-term prospects. With KPMG auditing so many of the government agencies, I have a good chance to get on some interesting engagements. I just filled out some security clearance paperwork that I hope goes through. Once that clears, I can be involved in some really 'interesting' auditing. I have a friend who audited the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA). He tells some interesting stories about verifying 'inventory' kept until the trials were completed.


As crazy as it sounds, I can't wait to ride the Metro again. I like public transportation. I like not having to drive in commute traffic. I liked being able to read a paper, read a book, or watch a movie on my laptop going too and from work. Maybe I also like the idea of working in a big city. I guess there's an allure to being surrounded by lots of people working in high-powered jobs helping to shape the direction of the country. I'm not saying I want to be in politics or anything, I just like the atmosphere.


The distance from here to there still seems too large to bridge. I have from now until April 27th to finish all my course work. Now until then to find an apartment. Now until then to squeeze the last drops of entertainment and enjoyment out of living in Provo. Now until then to prepare for living in the real world. It all begins/ends/continues in just 47 days.

4 months left

It's the third day of school of my final semester at BYU. It's hard to accept that this really is my last semester because I've been attending school since, .... well, for a long time. I'll have 234.5 credits when I graduate, a Masters degree in Accountancy, undergrad in Accountancy, and two minors: Horticulture and Information Systems.

I've spent a lot of time in Provo at BYU, and I can't say that I wish I could stick around. Provo has the feeling of school attached to it, and I'm ready to be out of school. At the same time, I can tell I'm going to miss campus and the people I've worked with and gone to class with.

This summer we'll be moving to Washington, DC to start full time with KPMG. We'll probably end up living somewhere in Fairfax county, Virginia if we can find a place we like.

My wife and I are both excited about new places and new activities. Maybe we're both a little ADD? We haven't stayed in any one apartment more than a couple of years, and it hasn't bothered us to move. DC seems like the next big adventure!

This final semester of school seems more like a transition into my full-time job. I'm working more hours, taking less credits, and my mind is mostly in DC. I'm more concerned about finding an apartment and setting up utilities there than worrying about when my first big papers are due or when I need to start studying for midterms. I guess the good news is that I would have to try to not pass my classes in order to not graduate. Still, I'm looking forward to the time when I get paid to go to work and don't have to take work home with me.