At Capacity: Doh! Are you sure it's not Monday?

Today I stopped by the restroom after lunch time. After a few seconds of confusion I realized I had put my underwear on backwards this morning. At least I put them on before my pants.

Unfiltered Innocence

AVERY: "I pinky swear I'll tell the truth when I'm lying."

WESTON: "Oh, gosh!" (finding the bedroom door locked and his escape foiled)

EDEN: "I would date Freddi but not Shaggy."

(Stephanie and Britta at the grocery store)

BRITTA: "Chicken tenders!? Are chicken tenders made from..." (points towards crotch)

STEPHANIE: "What?! No! Why would you think that?"

BRITTA: "You know on Kung Fu Panda when he gets hit in the crotch and says 'Oh!... right in the tenders.'?"

BRITTA: “When I am 18, you will already be a grandpa.”

BEN: (Pausing before answering) “What makes you say that?”

BRITTA: “Because I’ll be big and you’ll be old.” (Pausing. Then with a smile) “But you’ll still be my dad!”

AVERY: “Can I have some Minnesota?”

BEN: (???)

AVERY: “Da-ad! Can I have some Minnesota?”

BEN: “What’s ‘Minnesota’?”

AVERY: (Goes to the refrigerator and points to the root beer).

( Britta and Avery were fighting, again)

Me: Britta, who does kindness begin with?

Britta: Me

Me: Avery, who does kindness begin with?

Avery: Britta

(during a recent hiking trip we took with some friends)

Me: "Come on, Avery, it's time to get hiking."

Avery: "I can't go hiking. I have to fix my hair!"

AVERY: "Mom, you be the Kung Fu mom, okay?"

STEPHANIE: "Sure" (knowing I should first check the job description)

EDEN: "No school tomorrow! I'm going to sleep in till 7! Or maybe even 7:30!"

STEPHANIE: (No comment; too busy reminiscing about the days when 7 or even 7:30 was considered early.)

STEPHANIE: (talking out loud to Ben) "Can you think of anything else we need at the store?"

AVERY: "I'm gonna need some more snack packs."

BRITTA: "Mom, what's 10 plus 10?"

STEPHANIE: "20"

BRITTA: "Okay, good. I just wanted to make sure your brain was working."

STEPHANIE: ???

(background: Avery was having a hard time being reverent at church)

STEPHANIE: "Avery, do you want me to tell you a story about Jesus?"

AVERY: "No. Jack and the Bean Stalk."

Ben: "I married the woman of my dreams."

Britta: "Who is that?"

Britta: (while saying family prayer) "Please bless Weston and his chub that he'll grow to be a big man."

Avery: "Weston is a crazy guy!"

Britta: "Mom, you're really smart 'cause you know what 100 plus 100 plus 100 plus 100 is...wait, do you know what it is?"

Mom: "Avery, what do you want for dinner?"

Avery: "Cookies. Brownies. Beef. Peas. Broccoli."

(a girl with her priorities straight)

Mom: '"Kay, girls, push pause on the movie and lets say prayer(dinner)."

Eden: "Can't we just have a prayer in our hearts?"

JULIA (sister-in-law to be): "Britta, are you eating sprinkles?"

BRITTA: "No, I'm decorating my mouth."

-Britta and Julia decorating cakes together

AVERY: "Britta, try some butter. It's delicious!"

-overheard conversation at the refrigerator

AVERY: "Rock out the stage!"

BRITTA: "Ah, Mom. I'm so hungry for turkey! I can't take it anymore!"

-Hoping that Christmas dinner would soon be served

AVERY: (with blanket over her head) "I'm a Hannah Montanna ghost. Ooooooooo!"

(Ben and Britta playing with play money)

BRITTA: "Dad! Look at all of this money that the people at church gave us!"

BEN: "What are we going to do with it?"

BRITTA: "We can buy lots of things! We are RICH!"

BEN: "Don't you think we should give it back? Maybe they want us to use it to help others? We could build an orphanage so kids without parents would have food and a place to live. What do you think would make you feel good inside?"

BRITTA: (grabs her head and groans)

BEN: "What's wrong."

BRITTA: "I REALLY want to give the money back. But I REALLY want to keep it. Oh! It's just too hard!... I think I'm going to keep the money."

DAD: "Avery, how about sleeping in your own bed the whole night tonight?"

AVERY: "No. It's not possible."

MOM: "Avery, please put your plate and cup in the sink."

AVERY: "No, I'm Hannah Montanna."

BRITTA: "But how did you GET pregnant?"

-Britta being too curious for her own good and mine

AVERY: "And it came to pass that Lehi went to Texas."

-Avery "reading" scriptures

(At the park after a rainstorm)

BEN (to Avery): "Don't sit down in your skirt or it will get muddy."

BRITTA: "I doesn't matter Dad. The dirty kids are the happy kids."

-Britta recalls one of Stephanie's sayings to share at an appropriate moment.

EDEN: "Eat ya later!"

-Eden waving goodbye to a turkey at the petting zoo.

BRITTA:"Let's go to Human Land and see what those human-y humes are up to."

-Britta's mermaid barbie proposes an adventure.

BRITTA:"Where are we?"

BEN: "Vienna."

BRITTA:"Can we understand what they say here?"

-driving through the neighboring town of Vienna, Virginia

BRITTA:"Why do I have to be here? I already know everything! Thomas Monson is real; blah, blah, blah; see, I know it all!"

-Britta complaining about having to be at church

BRITTA: "I can't show my face in that!"

-in reference to a Sunday dress she's apparently had enough of.

BEN: "What do you want to have the family home evening lesson be about?"

BRITTA: "The Garden of Egypt."

BEN: "Do you mean the Garden of Eden?"

BRITTA: "No! Egypt!"

BEN: "What's that?"

BRITTA: "It's just a place I made up."

EDEN: "I've been doomed to chores!!"

-Eden complaining about being asked to unload kid dishes from the dishwasher

BEN: "What are you eating?"

AVERY: "Durdles"

BEN: "Turtles???"

AVERY: "NO! DUE-duls"

BEN: "Doodles?"

AVERY: "DUE-duls!"

BEN: "Oh! Noodles!"

-Ben trying to figure out what crunchy food Avery was eating. Turned out to be uncooked spagetti.

AVERY: "I'm beepy."

-Translation: "I'm sleepy."

BEN: "I don't want you to eat too many of those."

BRITTA: "Cause I'll go number three?"

BEN: "Number three? What's number three?"

BRITTA: "Diarrhea."

-Ben cautioning Britta to go easy on the blueberries

STEPH: "Avery, do you have poopers in your diaper?"

AVERY: "No..... Daddy, poopers!"

-Avery trying to pass the blame

BRITTA:"Tuna is made from mermaids, right?"

-Britta eyeing the Chicken of the Sea tuna can

BRITTA: "Dad, I'm hungry. Can I have some Chippychongos?"

-Britta asking for chimichangas for lunch

BRITTA:"Oi dad! Oi!"

-Britta telling me "hello" in Portuguese

Dear Chocolate.

Give me you.

Love Eden Taylor

-Note from Eden to "Chocolate"

BRITTA: "Dad, I love you just the way you are!"

-Britta repeating something Stephanie said to her

At Capacity

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Doh! Are you sure it's not Monday?

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